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Monthly Archives: March 2012

RSPCA Stray

I met this man travelling and he made me sad.

My Uncle’s songed four versions of it.

 

 

Your Mother told you to trust a girl with curly hair,

I’ve heard different and see toddlers stop and stare.

Followed round the supermarket, inspectors don’t believe my ticket,

After swimming in the river you shouldn’t have dared.

 

 

America was your land of dreams

You said you had a thing for it when you were eighteen

At 30 you wanted Asia, you travelled alone

You said I hurt your feelings when I walked you home.

 

 

You had that thing that women sometimes fall for,

Couldn’t swim, deaf in one ear, who knows what more.

A scruffy stray in pet rescue, you needed someone to adopt you

I didn’t have the key, others would have to open the door.

 

 

America was your land of dreams

You had a thing for it when you were eighteen

At 30 you wanted Asia, you travelled alone

You said I hurt your feelings when I walked you home.

 

 

Girls in the US didn’t want your name,

In Asia and Dublin things were just the same

Smoking joints in Switzerland, playing football in Berlin,

I don’t know what your doing, but I really hope you win.

 

 

America was your land of dreams

You had a thing for it when you were eighteen

At 30 you wanted Asia, you travelled alone

You said I hurt your feelings when I walked you home.

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When in Stalingrad

Stalingrad, Paris.

A bit like Hackney but everyone spoke French.

Mother’s Day Ode to Hilda

For my Ma, Hilda

 

Battle axe or battle maid,

I’ve never seen you look afraid.

You taught us how to go for it,

Vaselined shoes, faces clean with spit.

 

So today I’d like to let you know,

You’ve set the foundations for the distance we’ll go.

So cheers, Madre, you pushy show-mom,

When I have kids, I’ll know where to come.

 

x

 

Do it on a Courier Bicycle

I wrote this about a bicycle I have never ridden.

What has two frames, costs less than $280 and can get you to work as quick as you can say “Get me-a-Schwinn-Men’s-Courier-Bicycle-please”! I’ll leave you to do the guessing…..

Ta-da!

With constant reminders that the world is under threat from carbon dioxide’s evil twin, carbon monoxide, the world and her environmentally-aware friend have not only been recycling but also bicycling around town. And we’ve found the perfect bike for such a task; inexpensive, well-built and fully functioning.

Step in, the Schwinn Men’s Courier Bicycle. With a sturdy frame and sensible 700c wheels, you can tell that Schwinn has spent over 100 years perfecting their bicycles in safety and efficiency. Whilst the Men’s Courier Bicycle is very much a robust rider, it’s also fast and light, weighing 26lb; they’ll be no getting out of breath when taking this baby up your company stairs! Plus, the aluminium frame will give rust a run for its money.

However, a word of warning regarding the aluminium frame: lest us not forget to ensure sufficient padding when out on the bike (especially around our more sensitive regions) as aluminium frames are less than forgiving when it comes to small bumps. So please do watch out for the gravel!

Costing around $260, a rugged Men’s Courier Bicycle is definitely on the lower end of the price table, but be assured that Schwinn has not compromised. The brakes are dual-pull callipers (fantastic for responsive stopping) and the double wall wheel rims are durable, making it easy to control the speed. People may scoff at the one gear, but how many gears do you need when cycling to work? I’d say that Schwinn have taken the pain out of caring for the bike, making sure the Men’s Courier Bicycle is easy to look after and will never need as much “special attention” as a high maintenance, multi-geared bike.

Whilst the Men’s Courier Bicycle is a sure bet for any commuter wanting to get fit and save the planet, we may as well discuss an important factor; it’s looks. Let’s not beat around the bush, it’s not the prettiest bicycle out there. But think about it. The bulky frame is necessary for a safe and strong vehicle; delicate bikes are for posing against in the park. And remember, whilst the bull-horn handlebars may make you feel like you are sometimes riding a cow, they are actually very comfortable.

For the daily commute, a Schwinn Men’s Courier Bicycle is the done deal. But please note, this does not apply should your commute involve coursing up to your log cabin in the mountains to do your accounts. So let’s try that again. When travelling on-road to your place of work, the Schwinn Men’s Courier Bicycle will be your best friend; sturdy, efficient and environmentally friendly. Just like Judy in the office! Just put the appearance behind you, like all the car-driving Carls who’ll you’ll be whizzing past in the morning!